I'm Moving...

Learner Lawyer has moved to:

http://learnerlawyerblog.com/

Enjoy the snazzy new logo and layout!

Useful Things a Law Student Can Do

1. Read.

2. Highlight. Copiously.

3. Learn how to drink gins and tonic.

4. Go to lots of Law Fairs. Network, and get the free pens. 

5. Start a blog. Or read mine.

6. Use your summer holiday - go somewhere new. 

7. Potential Barristers: Become a Barista.  All you need is a dyslexic Barrister to read your application and you've got yourself to the top of the pile!

8. Re-evaluate your entire life and do a business degree.  You'll make more money.

"Diarize" - Wherein LL Rants

Henceforth these rants will be written a la Denning MR.  Good luck.

Source: Daily Mail Online

Many students go to University to learn. They find it very satisfying when they are able to go to lectures that are so kindly presented to them by their tutors.  Indeed, some rather eminent individuals may be invited to impart their wisdom to these students. How fortunate indeed we are that such opportunities are offered for them!  I refer my nobel friends to my obiter in "So You've Made it to Lectures."

Our post-Norman tongue, English, is one most incredible to use.  The simple form of a noun can be taken into consideration and transformed through the impossibly complex yet somehow easy manipulation, to become a verb.  For those desiring brevity of speech this is truly remarkable.  Instead of one considering the entirety of a sentence, its context, and the appropriate syntax, one may now simply highlight the important noun and make it the 'doing' of the statement.  One can, for example "Google" this or that such thing (although Google Inc despise this and send out very cross letters to point out it is a proper noun, not verb - to preserve their trademark).  The Common Man may "Tweet" now - identifying the message sent over the radiowaves to Twitter as a "Tweet" then making use of our glorious language to say:

 "Ah! My good fellow! What a spiffing turn of phrase! I do believe I shall type that into Twitter and press send. Yes, that's the right thing to do.  Good day!"

Source: BNPS.co.uk

Could one say, then, that "bed" is also a verb? "I'm going bed" being an example.  No.  In my esteemed opinion, this is simply a northerner with no teeth trying to communicate: "I'm going t'bed" reduced to "I'm going bed" because the "t" can no longer be sounded due to some previous mishap with a ferret.  Presumably down a pit.  In that town which features in the Hovis advert.

The Corporate Environment

Here we see our stock "Corporate Team."  As we note, they are all incredibly attractive - one could even conceive they are models hired specifically for such a picture to be taken? Not so! What deception.  Rather, these are colleagues caught unexpectedly as they stand looking serious yet inclusive; smart but not too smart; casual yet formal.  

Who better, then, to help shape common tongue in business and legal environments? 

The Linguistic Case in Point

Here, language changes begins in our corporate realms.  These high echelons of dictatorial nature shape our economy and even politics.  Such hasty conversations now necessitated.  The flexibility of the English language is in no doubt irreplaceable as such.

Herein lies the true issue.  Diarise.  Or, more precisely Diarize.  

Created Online Using http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

To search for the Ordinary definition: 

(v) "Note an appointment in a diary"  In archaic use in the early 20th century, but most prolific in use commencing 2010.

A more accurate definition of the word, if I may be so bold: 

(n) "I'm a self important, completely self-absorbed, slightly Americanised, earwax crusted toilet-bunny with limited language skills.  Here, just hold my Blackberry, I urgent Patricia."  For example:

Corporate idiot 1:  "Hey! Edward! I haven't had time to diarize that yet, can you blackberry me the schedule, hashtag urgent?"

Corporate idiot 2: "Sure thing, pal. I'll touch base with you later, meantime let's, like, drill down next week's proposal."

Passer by: "Shut up, you utter nobhead."

It is the delight of many to make imprints of themselves and to fit in.  Should we not allow this? All things considered, if this is forbidden, such small minded simple beings may turn to other vices.  One cannot, therefore, with just cause, command another man to cease use of such idiotic wordage - under the presumption that without these a la mode phrases, he may become more verbose and make an ass of himself.

STOP DOING IT. 

USE COMPLETE SENTENCES.  

SPEAK ENGLISH PROPER LIKE.

How to get Work Experience for a Law Degree

UPDATE 30/1/15: To celebrate the new year this blog has moved to www.learnerlawyerblog.com - find more help and an extended post there

Never underestimate how difficult it is to get some experience in a legal environment.  It is sometimes hinted at as 'desirable' or 'should be demonstrated' in prospecti.  

The reality is that if you are offering yourself up for 'work experience' you are, in fact, a pain and hindrance to those in the workplace!  Having been responsible for people on work experience where I worked before studying Law, I can testify that this is the general feeling. You will be in the way.  Those who are a little more forgiving like myself, will also remember not only how difficult it was not only to get the experience, but to also attend it and not make a fool of yourself in such an alien environment!

What sort of work experience do I need to get onto a LLB course?

It is sometimes 'desirable' to have experience in a legal environment. However, nobody will realistically expect an 17 year old applicant to have experience as a Paralegal; or swathes of observational weeks at a multitude of firms (that is, unless Daddy is a Lawyer, which is no bad thing).  

If you can get some voluntary experience in something legal-related, that's great.  Similarly, if the closest you can get to 'legal experience' is what you read in the Financial Times and the Law Gazette Online then that's great too - there is a reasonable expectation that you know what you are letting yourself in for.  

Make sure that shines through in your Personal Statement and at interview - that you know what a legal career entails, and what a legal environment is like (to an extent). However, don't be so sure that you have the correct viewpoint - see my Ultimate Guide to Writing a Personal Statement.  That will delve into how to talk about any part time jobs you've had or how to make almost anything relevant to your application!

How can I try to get work experience?

Herein lies the art of compromise with your ego.  The larger firms, and some of the better known smaller firms have what are known as 'Vacation Schemes' and these are usually open to current undergraduates.  These schemes generally lead on to a Training Contract - competition is fierce.  As an A-level student, this would not be the sort of thing to look at.  Though each firm differs so have a look at their websites thoroughly.

Research the firm you want to ask to spend time with.  Read their website. What cases have they been involved in? Who are their high profile clients? What is their history? What do they specialise in?  Then call them or send an email to enquire about spending some time.

Be honest - if you're only 16 or 17 don't lie about your age, they will ask for ID anyway.

Be specific and concise, and polite.

Be realistic - even two days might be sufficient.  Also, you might not be able to be accommodated by the firm you're asking.

Make sure your SPAG is correct.

Chase up a response.  Keen-ness isn't a bad thing if justified and kept within measure. If you haven't heard back within a reasonable time period (a week or two) then a short email to find out if your email was passed on or would be prudent).  

Look for smaller firms.  They do some pretty interesting stuff and you will generally get the best insight into what it is like.  

Try and get time with one of their Trainees or Newly Qualified Lawyers. They have the most to do and will be most recent on the law and what it is like to go through the system to get qualified. 

Try a Chambers. If you feel brave and/or want to be a Barrister. 

Bonus Points

By now you should have a personal email that is your name, or initials. Sending an email to Eversheds from "madlittleballetdancer" at hotmail isn't going to go down well.  Get a sensible one set up and use it.

Once you're on your work experience, it's a new ballgame, which I'll cover in a later post if this gets enough views!

Family Deaths

Death. Did you feel that shiver down your spine?  It's something I dealt with frequently during my time at Medical School.  First the cadavers in the Dissection Lab, then in real life.

There was a death in the family about a month ago.  It wasn't someone I saw regularly, but enough to make me take time to cogitate about it.  January is a time of several anniversaries of death, so there's plenty of it around at the moment and it makes me think.

Regardless of age, health, gender, fitness, looks, we all die. Some day.

I noticed massive difference in how I deal with professional deaths and personal deaths.  Death changed me professionally.  After several you must try to preserve your sanity.

In a professional capacity death was something to 'deal' with and, if you were me, nip to the staff loo for a cry and big hug from a Nurse.  But even after that, it follows you.  It creeps up at inopportune moments such as the big MCQ exams at the end of each semester - the "Progress Test" as it is called; or a flashback whilst being examined on clinical skills, but you only have that one shot to get it right - there's no time to process the memory at that time.  

Source: http://www.generalcomics.com/funny-directory/15/1505/12.php 

The first person I saw die as a Medical Student was a lovely old lady who I was happily sat listening to whilst holding her hand.  Then, without any drama, her eyes closed mid-word and she was perfectly still.  I know I'm boring but to actually bore someone to death... Then it dawned on me, that was a real life dead body.  It looked no different to a sleeping person.  Then she was taken away and I had the rest of the day to get on with as though nothing had happened.

A personal death does all those things, but more consistently and to some extent, the fact there was probably nothing you could do about it makes it more difficult to shake off. 

Source: http://www.aperfectworld.org/metaphors.htm

It is driven home every time you go to the cinema; talk to your grandparents; watch the news; read books; listen to music; read poetry.  The fact that death ends lives.  Time is finite.  But we ignore it and carry on because we are sure it won't happen until we are ready.  It might be today or tomorrow.

Ask yourself - If the last person I spoke to were to die at midnight, would I have helped make their death a happy one? 

Not for one moment am I being preachy and vouching for an enduring 'do unto others' - living by that all the time is impossible.  You cannot live as if there is no tomorrow because ironically there just isn't time! 

I was lucky enough to see my relative shortly before their death, because I took a chance to grab an opportunity, and inconvenienced myself to visit.  It meant a lot to them, and now to me.

Maybe we should all start being nicer to each other, or at least one of our two faces should, because death is there with all of us all the time.

How did you find this blog...

Usually through Google, TSR, a few search pages about Personal Statements and hyperlinks from other Blogs all star in the traffic.

But then I saw this...

Oh dear.  I didn't know I wrote erotic poetry.  Coming soon: 50 Shades of Law.

First Day of School

Hurrah! First day! Suddenly you are thrown into a group of people you’ve never met before and expected to pretty much immediately get on.  On the whole, the specific type of person attracted to Law are unique and at the very least decent company.

Yet, a David Attenborough style observation was needed of the most vocal wildlife seen in the Common Room:

1.  Girls. Replete with fake tans, juicy couture, pashminas, and always ready for a selfie.  These are commonly found sat together talking about “OMG drama!” or exactly just how drunk they were the night before.  Each member in a gaggle of this species have exactly the same hairstyle, makeup, eyebrows, and outfit to show just how alternative and unique each one of them is.

2.  Boys. “Banterific” and very much in love with themselves. Barbour jackets and Jansport bags galore.  This species will typically leave room for cats around them to fully dominate their surroundings. Litter they refuse to tidy away upon departing often marks their absence.

Both groups are very busy throwing their Law Willies around, spouting names of Judges and Partners they “know” or are related to.  Nobody outside that little group listens.

We all end up equal at University – a student number and unflattering photo on a piece of white plastic.

So You've Made it to Lectures. Now What: Wherein LL Rants

Image: JT Zuhlsdorf www.wdtprs.com 

Most if not all places where lectures, seminars, and talks are given are specifically designed places.  They have a specific purpose.  The very layout of the room ensures everyone can see and hear what the presenter is doing/saying.  It is a place where knowledge is imparted and questions can be asked.

  Some even have specific dedications - in honour or memory of a specific alumnus who achieved great things (or just happened to have a lot of money, as in the case of Carole Nash - there are lots of music auditoriums named after her).

There are a videos on Youtube of lecturers losing their patience at students talking during the lectures.  It's highly distracting.  During my last degree, I saw at least ten people ejected from lectures within the first week because they weren't courteous enough to not gab.  Then too self-absorbed to apologise. 

People teaching through lectures, seminars, and tutorials aren't just doing this for sh**s and giggles, they want you to succeed.  They've probably prepared long and hard so they can talk fluently and give you extra nuggets of information for the exams. Listen to them - or at least pretend to.  

What I've learnt through the faults of others

1. Show up on time, or sneak in at the back silently and take a seat near the back if you're late.

2. Phones away and on silent.  It's only an hour, or maybe even 45 minutes. You can survive without it.

3. Ask the lecturer if you can record the lecture before placing the dictaphone on the desk.

4. Do not ask questions during the lecture.  Wait until the end or do it by email. Otherwise you shall make enemies.  Don't be 'that guy.' 

5. If you're told to be quiet by a fellow student, obey.  Don't be 'that guy.'  Your life isn't so important that you can interrupt others' learning.

Please remember this, you lecture-blabbers, when you 'yuk it up' at the back (or even the front) of theatres; when you get your phones out for selfies or Facebook chat; when you snigger at the diligent student who turns around and tells you to shut the f*** up.  This is Higher Education, not Costa Coffee or High School.

A friend of mine lectures for an LLB course, and the students who bother to show up are apparently the worst behaved in the faculty, closely followed by those studying the GDL at another institution.  She has a dim opinion of them.  

Sorry… am I not being fluffy enough?  “Time’s have changed!”, you say? "We do it quietly!" "We've paid to be here so will do what we want."

I don’t think so.  Don't be 'that guy' - you will make contacts at Law School, and the person who told you to shut up in Land Law may well, one day, be a Partner in a Firm who turns you down for a job because you were a dick in years past.

In case you missed them...

Ultimate Guide to Writing a Law Personal Statement

New Year's Resolution

Paralegal Route to Qualification 

Apprenticeships in Law

Law in a Box

This week I took delivery of books for my degree.  A late Christmas present from myself to myself.  

See if you can match the Module to my much more accurate Book Titles:


So Your Client Thinks They're in an American Law Drama

Imaginary Funds

Have You Been Injured or Killed in an Accident That Wasn't Your Fault?

The Module Everyone Almost Fails

That Bit You Need to Understand the Rest of the Course

Things Your Friends Will Ask You About Because "You're a Lawyer"

That Pesky Law Making Entity We'd Sometimes Rather Ignore

Jeremy Kyle


Module Titles (mixed up)

Constitutional and Administrative Law

Land Law

European Union

Family Law 

Equity and Trusts

Criminal Law

Law of Tort

Contract Law

Question: Blogging...

Always nice to answer reader questions:

Hi, I started a blog months back and I can't find fresh stuff to write on, do you have certain rituals routines and is it important for a associated writing space just for you and how do you get creative or do you need to be simply popular? 

My writing space is anywhere I might salvage a few extra moments of quiet; together with WiFi that isn't slowed by other people either looking at naughty things over the hairnet, or stealing my passwords *cough* avoid Caffe Nero *cough*.  

This is occasionally the loo, or more often than not, the train (until Mrs Smelly asks me to move so her Primark Couture bag can sit on my seat, or Mr Liverpool Accent pesters me for 'eleven pence cheersthanksmate').

So my advice to you, dearest, is that there are bloggers everywhere, so good luck with that...

Image: http://www.motifake.com/

New Year's Resolution

I was absolutely thrilled to see that we can exist in 2015 thanks to Mr New Year, the Internet, and of course the United States of America (who always seem to get a look in on anything decent).  Here is the resolution:

THE YEARS ACT

WRITTEN RESOLUTION

Resolution in writing of the sole director of the world (the "New Year") dated this 1st day of January 2015.

BACKGROUND

A. The World is organised and operates under the laws of the New Year.

IT WAS RESOLVED THAT

1.  A new year may begin on this day.

Dated in the Country of The United States of America on the 1st day of January 2015.

Director Name:  THE NEW YEAR        

See what I did there?  Happy New Year, may 2015 be your annus mirabilis.  


Image Source: http://www.bradmontgomery.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scribble.png